Grace is enough to to cover not only the hard things you wish you'd never done but also the good things that you wish you had got done, the things that can weigh heaviest of all. ~Ann Voskamp
Grace: the free and unmerited favor of God - Websters Dictionary
But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you..." - 2 Cor. 12:9
For by grace you have been saved... - Eph. 2:8
But he gives more grace. - James 4:6
And from His fullness we have all received grace upon grace. John 1:16
Grace upon grace. How beautiful is that? The free, unmerited favor of God - and we get that dumped on us. Did I deserve to have Jesus come die for my sins? No. Could I have paid the penalty for my sins on my own? No. Would I ever be able to reach God on my own? No. It's only because of God's grace. He does it all. And even after He paid the penalty for my sins - grace washing over my sin stained self - He continues to dump grace on me. I see it everyday - grace in the sunset as I was driving home, grace in the encouragement of a friend when I desperately needed it, grace in the forgiveness of one high school student to another. You can see it everywhere if you just take the time to look.
And if so much grace surrounds me...shouldn't I be a part of it?
There's been a relationship in my life that has caused more tears, more heartache, more hurt than anything I've ever experienced. And somehow through all of that and with a large dose of God's grace - He has used that to cause me to fall more in love with Him. It still astounds me that so much hurt could be used for His good. Yet, some of that hurt still remains even after over a year of silence within this relationship.
And suddenly...an email...an apology...I stared at this email for several long minutes recalling the hurt. Wanting to hold on to that and answer in anger, "Now? After all this time...NOW you tell me our friendship means something to you?" I wanted to say that it was too little, too late...and yet....grace.
How can I not offer the same grace I've been given - grace given when I've done far worse to the God of the universe who created me - to the people around me? And so...I closed the email. Maybe that's surprising. Maybe a stronger person could have responded gracefully right then. But sometimes grace needs time. Or...at least I need time. I knew that I would not be able to respond without some cleverly worded phrase that would sting...just a little. And so I gave myself a day. A day to pray, a day to revel in God's grace, and finally...at the end of that day - grace.
It was not a long response. But in the end...I called him friend, welcoming him back to our group of friends where Jesus' love and grace abounds. Friend...Because that's what Jesus did and that's what Jesus does. He welcomes us back. He calls us friend. He does it. Was I able to respond gracefully because I'm so great? No. It's only because of Jesus working in me. And that...is beautiful. Accepting God's grace is one thing. Giving it out is another.
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Breathing in His Grace
I remember my senior year of college sitting at a table in the library with one of my friends arguing about growing up. I was adamant, I was never growing up. Sure, I'd get older - but I sure as heck wasn't going to lose the fun, happy view of life I currently had. He assured me that I would - that as life went on and I entered the "real" world with "real" problems I'd lose the fairy tale view of the world I currently had. I remember him looking me in the eyes and saying, "Abbie, you will grow up. You won't always have this kid like approach to life. Just wait, five years from now you'll tell me I'm right." And I laughed and rolled my eyes and dismissed the whole idea.
I've been out of college for three years now, and I think if I saw my friend I'd still tell him that I haven't grown up. If I see a pile of leaves, I still want to go jump in it. If I get bored and one of my friends is close by I'll probably poke them or something just to entertain myself. So, in many ways I'm definitely still a child at heart. But...real life has made keeping that childlike nature a whole lot harder - heartbreak, surgery, ginormous medical bills, death, student loans, uncertainty, taxes...And it doesn't stop! That's the amazing thing...
There's a song that says: Still my soul be still and do not fear though winds of change may rage tomorrow. God is at your side, no longer dread the fires of unexpected sorrow.
No longer dread the fires of unexpected sorrow...Isn't that a beautiful thought? To be so sure of God and His plan and His purpose that you don't wait with clenched fists for the other shoe to drop, but stand with open hands and heart trusting that His good will prevail.
I haven't completely figured out how to do that yet, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with getting over yourself. Now, you may think that's a little harsh, but stick with me....This life; us going about our business, spinning around on this sphere through space - We didn't make it. There's something much greater going on here. I've recently claimed a new life verse. Psalm 115:1 - Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to Your name give glory, for the sake of Your steadfast love and Your faithfulness!
I've been learning this whole "not about me" thing for a long time. For the longest time I lived under the motto - God has a good plan for me and it will prevail! And I don't think that's bad. I think God does have a good plan for me - But what I've learned is that God and I have a different definition of "good". His good may not be my good - I think about all of the Christians in the world undergoing persecution. Could they honestly say that what is happening to them is good? If they can, it's only because they understand better than most Who it is they are living for. They realize it's not about them - they're not living for their happiness, their living for God's glory. Living for His glory because of His steadfast love which covers over the ugly of our lives, and His faithfulness that covers us with so much undeserved grace. Because honestly, we don't deserve good. We're a mess. We break God's heart. We chase after worthless idols. And yet, when we realize our mistake and turn back to God - He's there. He's there with open arms. His grace is why we have good. Every good thing is from Him!
Jesus talked a lot about having childlike faith - approaching Him with wide eyed expectancy completely trusting that He knows best. He knows best even when you totally don't get it. He knows best even when you get hurt. He. Knows. Best. And when I start living for His glory instead of my good - it changes my perspective on hard things. Instead of getting cynical about them I can trust that God will use this for His glory. And if I can live my life in reckless abandon to Him even in the hard times I don't think I have to "grow up". I can remain a kid at heart, trusting that my Abba father knows what He's doing. What a beautiful place to be.
I've been out of college for three years now, and I think if I saw my friend I'd still tell him that I haven't grown up. If I see a pile of leaves, I still want to go jump in it. If I get bored and one of my friends is close by I'll probably poke them or something just to entertain myself. So, in many ways I'm definitely still a child at heart. But...real life has made keeping that childlike nature a whole lot harder - heartbreak, surgery, ginormous medical bills, death, student loans, uncertainty, taxes...And it doesn't stop! That's the amazing thing...
There's a song that says: Still my soul be still and do not fear though winds of change may rage tomorrow. God is at your side, no longer dread the fires of unexpected sorrow.
No longer dread the fires of unexpected sorrow...Isn't that a beautiful thought? To be so sure of God and His plan and His purpose that you don't wait with clenched fists for the other shoe to drop, but stand with open hands and heart trusting that His good will prevail.
I haven't completely figured out how to do that yet, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with getting over yourself. Now, you may think that's a little harsh, but stick with me....This life; us going about our business, spinning around on this sphere through space - We didn't make it. There's something much greater going on here. I've recently claimed a new life verse. Psalm 115:1 - Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to Your name give glory, for the sake of Your steadfast love and Your faithfulness!
I've been learning this whole "not about me" thing for a long time. For the longest time I lived under the motto - God has a good plan for me and it will prevail! And I don't think that's bad. I think God does have a good plan for me - But what I've learned is that God and I have a different definition of "good". His good may not be my good - I think about all of the Christians in the world undergoing persecution. Could they honestly say that what is happening to them is good? If they can, it's only because they understand better than most Who it is they are living for. They realize it's not about them - they're not living for their happiness, their living for God's glory. Living for His glory because of His steadfast love which covers over the ugly of our lives, and His faithfulness that covers us with so much undeserved grace. Because honestly, we don't deserve good. We're a mess. We break God's heart. We chase after worthless idols. And yet, when we realize our mistake and turn back to God - He's there. He's there with open arms. His grace is why we have good. Every good thing is from Him!
Jesus talked a lot about having childlike faith - approaching Him with wide eyed expectancy completely trusting that He knows best. He knows best even when you totally don't get it. He knows best even when you get hurt. He. Knows. Best. And when I start living for His glory instead of my good - it changes my perspective on hard things. Instead of getting cynical about them I can trust that God will use this for His glory. And if I can live my life in reckless abandon to Him even in the hard times I don't think I have to "grow up". I can remain a kid at heart, trusting that my Abba father knows what He's doing. What a beautiful place to be.
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
The Labor of God is to Trust
You strive, o man, and you strive again, your heart too proud to rest
You labor on, singing those songs, to cover your weakness
Do you fail to recall who you really are and Who caused you to be?
Return o man; return and rest, to a burden light and yoke easy
Abide in your Savior
Abide in His love
The labor of God is to trust in the Son
The labor of God is to trust in the Son
God isn't telling us to move mountains. To run a race. He's saying that our labor should be to trust Him. That is what we should strive for first and foremost - to live our lives in an attitude of trust in our Heavenly Father. To rest in Him alone.
It sounds so simple, yet it's so hard! I grew up in a family that had crazy work ethic. My dad gets up at 2:30 every other morning to milk cows and doesn't get done till 7 pm at night. Yes, I think he's crazy - but I also admire him and in a lot of ways I'm proud that my dad is "crazy" enough to work harder than anyone else I know. Ever since I was a little girl I put a ton of value in work - I helped my dad and uncle feed cows, build fence, drive tractors, milk cows, help with harvest, and more. I loved the feeling of coming inside after the sun had set; hot, sweaty, and tired - but with a sense of accomplishment of a job well done.
Ministry is totally different. It's way more thinking. It's a lot of never seeing the results, but trusting that God is going to do what He wants with what you spent hours of time preparing. It's building relationships and then wondering if what you're doing is accomplishing any good. It is hard.
And yet...God is teaching me to trust Him with the results and in some ways I think I'm beginning to learn how to do that.
And then...I got sick. A sickness that would strike me every couple of weeks and pretty much knock me out of commission for several days. I've missed days of work. I've missed TFC meetings. So many times I've been stuck laying on the couch while someone else had to step up and fill my place.
I HATE IT. So, so much. I feel like a pansy. I feel like if I were my dad I'd be up and at em' and already slinging around hay bales. I finally had surgery last week to fix this problem and now am in the recovery process. I was SO excited to finally be on the road of getting this all behind me! And now...on a Wednesday night where I was supposed to be at a TFC meeting - I was again at home on the couch. It's been five days since I've had surgery...and yet I was totally expecting to be back to normal life by now. And finally (yes, I'm a little slow) I began to think...hm...maybe God is actually trying to teach me something here. This has been going on since September so it only took me a little bit...
Today I had a friend tell me that God loves me despite what I do or don't do - He would love me even if I couldn't do anything - That my worth is who I am in Him and anything that comes against that truth is wrong. I knew this, but I needed that reminder. This past summer I began to stand on the truth that because of Jesus I am enough - I don't have to keep striving after this unattainable goal of being "perfect" for everyone. Obviously I didn't learn this lesson completely since once again God is His vast wisdom has brought something else into my life to show me just how far I still have to go.
So as I once again sit on this couch, I'm again discovering that I need to let go of finding my worth in what I accomplish. My worth should always and ONLY come from Jesus. And the thought of how much He loves me...even though I can do no good thing honestly brings tears to my eyes. We serve such a beautiful Savior! One who saw that we could never live the life that was demanded - and so came down from heaven to live for us - to die for us so that we could be with Him. Isn't that breathtaking?? And so why do I insist on taking pride in my accomplishments and come to despair when I feel like I'm not doing enough when Jesus has already done it all?!
The labor of God is to trust in the Son.
Give me a steadfast spirit to rest in You alone.
You labor on, singing those songs, to cover your weakness
Do you fail to recall who you really are and Who caused you to be?
Return o man; return and rest, to a burden light and yoke easy
Abide in your Savior
Abide in His love
The labor of God is to trust in the Son
The labor of God is to trust in the Son
God isn't telling us to move mountains. To run a race. He's saying that our labor should be to trust Him. That is what we should strive for first and foremost - to live our lives in an attitude of trust in our Heavenly Father. To rest in Him alone.
It sounds so simple, yet it's so hard! I grew up in a family that had crazy work ethic. My dad gets up at 2:30 every other morning to milk cows and doesn't get done till 7 pm at night. Yes, I think he's crazy - but I also admire him and in a lot of ways I'm proud that my dad is "crazy" enough to work harder than anyone else I know. Ever since I was a little girl I put a ton of value in work - I helped my dad and uncle feed cows, build fence, drive tractors, milk cows, help with harvest, and more. I loved the feeling of coming inside after the sun had set; hot, sweaty, and tired - but with a sense of accomplishment of a job well done.
Ministry is totally different. It's way more thinking. It's a lot of never seeing the results, but trusting that God is going to do what He wants with what you spent hours of time preparing. It's building relationships and then wondering if what you're doing is accomplishing any good. It is hard.
And yet...God is teaching me to trust Him with the results and in some ways I think I'm beginning to learn how to do that.
And then...I got sick. A sickness that would strike me every couple of weeks and pretty much knock me out of commission for several days. I've missed days of work. I've missed TFC meetings. So many times I've been stuck laying on the couch while someone else had to step up and fill my place.
I HATE IT. So, so much. I feel like a pansy. I feel like if I were my dad I'd be up and at em' and already slinging around hay bales. I finally had surgery last week to fix this problem and now am in the recovery process. I was SO excited to finally be on the road of getting this all behind me! And now...on a Wednesday night where I was supposed to be at a TFC meeting - I was again at home on the couch. It's been five days since I've had surgery...and yet I was totally expecting to be back to normal life by now. And finally (yes, I'm a little slow) I began to think...hm...maybe God is actually trying to teach me something here. This has been going on since September so it only took me a little bit...
Today I had a friend tell me that God loves me despite what I do or don't do - He would love me even if I couldn't do anything - That my worth is who I am in Him and anything that comes against that truth is wrong. I knew this, but I needed that reminder. This past summer I began to stand on the truth that because of Jesus I am enough - I don't have to keep striving after this unattainable goal of being "perfect" for everyone. Obviously I didn't learn this lesson completely since once again God is His vast wisdom has brought something else into my life to show me just how far I still have to go.
So as I once again sit on this couch, I'm again discovering that I need to let go of finding my worth in what I accomplish. My worth should always and ONLY come from Jesus. And the thought of how much He loves me...even though I can do no good thing honestly brings tears to my eyes. We serve such a beautiful Savior! One who saw that we could never live the life that was demanded - and so came down from heaven to live for us - to die for us so that we could be with Him. Isn't that breathtaking?? And so why do I insist on taking pride in my accomplishments and come to despair when I feel like I'm not doing enough when Jesus has already done it all?!
The labor of God is to trust in the Son.
Give me a steadfast spirit to rest in You alone.
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